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Friday, 11 March 2011

Parenting style yg merbahaya?

The Year of the Tiger Mom

(wow, aku ingat aku jek pernah jadi tiger mom mcm aku tulis kat previous entry hehe)Who didn’t hear the collective OMG! (or WTF?) from moms everywhere after reading that Amy Chua called her 7-year old daughter “garbage”? She revealed this and other Eastern parenting pointers in her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Moms -- and promptly started a national debate about what constitutes good parenting and whether Americans coddle their children. So is Chua onto something? Well, possibly.

“One of the greatest gifts we can give a child is a strong inner belief of who she is—and that belief comes from what you put into her,” says Michele Borba, Ph.D., and parenting contributor to the Today Show. But Borba doesn’t believe in praise just for the heck of it. "Chua is right on that one,” she says. “Praise should be earned. You’re not saying it to be nice. You’re helping the child find a guided belief of who she is so when the going gets rough, she can bounce back and say, ‘I’m a capable, worthwhile human being.’ Not, 'I'm garbage.'" Bottom line: It’s okay to reserve your praise for times when it's sincere, but calling your kid “garbage” or demanding perfection from them -- like Chua does -- is going way too far.

aduhaiii....aku rasa aku mmg selalu jugak lah demand perfection...aku selalu gak cakap "kenapalah makan sepah2""kenapalah buat keje tak kemas, tak senonoh, sepah etc etc" "kenapalah tak buat macam ibu suruh""kenapa tak ikut cara ibu dah tunjuk"

mmm too bad huh....takpe2 lepas ni cuba sabar sikit....sabar sabar..

cakap bukan2 masa marah? mmmm...pernah gak tapi ckp dgn diri sendiri....huhu


Sports training for Toddlers

 When kids are toddlers, the most important thing is to expose them to gross motor skills—tumbling, walking backwards, running, hopping, throwing, catching -- not fine motor skills, Shafran says. “If you’re banking on your bundle of joy becoming a pro athlete, you’re better off playing the lottery, since many factors are out of your control,” he says. “You have a much better chance of raising an active, healthy child.”

Babies on diet

Childhood obesity is a serious issue, but some moms and dads are becoming obsessive about any extra padding on their baby. In fact, pediatricians are seeing an upsurge in parents concerned about their infant’s weight. Case in point: Brittainy and Samuel Labberton of Bellevue, Wash., who were charged with criminal mistreatment after their infant daughter gained only 1 pound in her first two months, and traces of laxatives were found in the baby’s bottles. The mother’s defense: “My husband has a weight problem, and we didn’t want our daughters to be fat.”

mmm...anak aku kurus jek tak padan makan byk...ibu dia? hehehe....kurus gak lahhh....tambah isi sikit jek hehe


Bye bye work/life balance

It used to be that a traditional work day lasted from 9-5. Not any more. With the proliferation of smartphones, laptops, iPads and wi-fi hotspots, it’s easier than ever to burn the midnight oil. But is the extended -- albeit flexible -- work day doing working moms any favors? Not likely.

According to a 2010 Monster.com poll, 37 percent of respondents said work gets in the way of relationships, and 23 percent said they feel they're expected to put work ahead of home life.
"We’re checking work emails at the breakfast table, taking the iPhone into the bathroom -- it’s delusional,” says Susan Maushart, author of The Winter of Disconnect: How Three Totally Wired Teenagers (and a Mom Who Slept with Her iPhone) Pulled the Plug on Technology and Lived to Tell the Tale. Research proves that people work better when they focus on one task at a time. Maushart agrees that the more boundaries you draw between the office and your personal life, the more efficient and enjoyable both will be.

mmm any working mom here yg boleh komen? aku rasa semua ni time management lah kan. Experience aku sambung belajar ni, aku rasa lagi best lahh dari keje 8 pagi-5ptg, sbb ada flexibility, bukan kelas memanjang 8-5, kadang2 ada hari takde lecture walaupun kena siapkan assignments. Tapi aku mmg jarang bukak laptop bila dgn anak/ husband...tu yg selalu jadik burung hantu bila semua dah tido...

The return of spanking

Though a recent study found that adults who were calmly, deliberately spanked as children grew up to be happy and successful, Dr. Borba says it’s hard to be that calm parent and spank at the same time. “You’re usually heated in the moment and administer the punishment in a more heated fashion, scaring the child,” she explains. “While parents would argue that it works, you need to ask yourself: Do you want your child to fear you and the punishment, or learn right from wrong?” Instead of spanking, sit down with your kid and ask him what he did wrong—and what he’s going to do next time to make it right. That helps teach -- and that’s what real discipline is.

aku pernah pukul gak, takdelah tak pernah, tapi taklah teruk, taklah selalu....org kata jgn pukul dgn tangan nanti anak makin degil, so pukul dgn rotan kat punggung hehe...





Computer-addicted parents (bloggers mom/dad jgn buat cenggini ehhhh)

Sad but true: Last year in South Korea, a child starved to death while her parents were playing a video game -- ironically, one in which they were raising a virtual child. More recently, a Florida mom shook her infant to death when the baby’s crying interrupted her game of FarmVille on Facebook. “Gaming, like gambling, presents a vulnerable point for those with addictive personalities,” says Maushart. That said, playing computer games now and then is fine. Problems arise when you become consumed with it.




The Helicopter Parent -still hovering
Being there for your kid is a good thing, but hovering over them can actually hold them back. Researchers have been studying helicopter parenting for years, says Dr. Borba. “If there’s too much hovering -- Blackhawk mode -- too much rescue, speaking for the child, it can hinder, not help.” Kids often interpret it as, “I guess I’m not good enough.”

To stay grounded, Borba suggests parents “watch where you stand with your child.” At the very beginning, stand in front and lead. Then, as your child begins to do the task, step to the side and encourage them by saying,
“You can do it.” Once they’ve got the task under control, step back and say, “Keep going. I’m here, but do it your way.”

mmm...this is a good one; anak2ku, you're on the right track, ibu's here, but do it your way...

Hothouse parenting

In this hyper-competitive, test-driven society, it’s no wonder we’re worrying about college and scholarships before our babies are out of diapers. Still, that’s no reason to push kids into learning earlier than their appropriate cognitive age and developmental level, says Dr. Borba.

That’s because we’re overlooking the other parts of our child’s development -- social, emotional and physical. And science backs her up: New research has found that a kindergarten teacher can correctly guess if one of her students is going to do well in the third grade. And it has nothing to do with knowing the ABCs. It’s whether or not the child plays in the sandbox, shares and how he handles frustration.


ramai budak sekarang tadika dah tuition yek? mcm anak sedara aku, tapi mmg pandailah...mana kumon nya, mental arithmetic, piano blah blah. anak aku? susah nak suruh dia concentrate dan fokus bila belajar....aduhaiii. Apa2pun education sgtlah penting cuma let them have their childhood jugak...


Now starring on Facebook: your baby?
Your infant’s foot print displayed in a clay heart? So last decade. Today, tech-savvy mamas are preserving baby’s blueprint online. In fact, 7 percent of babies under 2 have a social media profile -- and 82 percent have some form of digital footprint. Not surprising, since sites like Facebook and Flickr offer an easy way to share photos with family and friends.


But putting your little peanut online does have its drawbacks, including privacy concerns and opening her up for identity theft. Plus, there’s the idea that your kid is learning how to be social using a computer, rather than face-to-face interaction. Maushart says she’s surprised new parents even have time to create a Facebook profile for their newborn. “I still haven’t made the baby albums -- and my oldest is in college!” she says.

aku selalu tgk kawan2 aku create profile anak2 dorang kat facebook...huhu
ada satu hari tu si abang yg umur 8 tahun tu beli buku nota kecik, pastu dia tulis nama kawan2 dia dlm tu, pastu dia ckp dgn aku "ibu, tgk ni, abg dah ada facebook! mana kawan2 yg selalu kacau dia, takde nama dlm facebook tu..." huhu....bagus jugak dia ingat buku nota tu facebook...

emmm...itu lah sikit2 yg aku baca, sumber dari SINI

enjoy reading!





  ambil masa utk relax dan minum kopi dulu....adios!

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